“No Photos!” she says. Why? The place is dark and dusty, unkempt as a mythical toymaker’s workshop. The advertising for this place is forlorn, and with a name like Fakih Collections (which does not phonetically sit very well in English), I wonder how anybody has taken the effort to find out about this place at all.  I have to speak to the manager. “Can you come back later?” he asks. No. I’m flying out on Wednesday morning. I’m just here for some Dubai kitsch for the folks back home. “I’ll blog about you,” I tell him. “I say only nice things…” No, he won’t budge an inch. It’s a pity, because above my head is a rainbow of hanging glass tea-light holders, just begging to be snapped up for posterity. The aisles are dark, and warm, and I feel like I’m travelling down the intestine of a giant whale that has swallowed a ghost ship full of travellers souvenirs. They sit on shelves in a ramshackle way, but in families, as if the movement of the waves has nudged them out of line, but not entirely out of place. Pretty enamel boxes from Vietnam, pipes and canes from Oman, ceramics from Turkey, silver jewelery from Afghanistan, wooden “antiques” from Indonesia, glass from Egypt and Syria, the list goes on. It seems the whole of Asia is represented.

It’s laid out like a souk, with doors leading into other troves. One goes to the textile section, where I can buy anything from an abaya to a tablecloth, most of the stock made in India and colourful as Willy Wonka’s dreams. Everything is priced in this room, but of course, it’s always negotiable. Further off here, a secret stairwell leads to pashmina attic – over 432 different shades, I am told. But it’s hot up there – the air conditioning does not penetrate the altitude, and I leave after 25 seconds, bathed in sweat.

Another door leads to the framing gallery. Four men work over a table beneath a majestic yet entirely unnecessary wooden and stained glass staircase which leads only to a Mezzanine gallery I can see perfectly well from the floor. They are boxing in Omani daggers and trinkets, mini Persian carpets and the seven sands of the emirates. Setting them elegantly in deep black boxes with shiny wooden frames, turning them from trashy keepsakes into art.

Further into the belly of the whale I go, and I find the weapons. Daggers, swords, even rifles hang from the upper walls. On the floor is a baffling array of life-size animals and deities, imposing wooden doors, massive spinning globes, and other things I am still trying to figure out. Further still, and I see the tables, chairs, chests, even a palanquin.

A man has followed me through, I’m not sure why – he fends off any price query with “we give you good price”, and does not attempt the hard sell. So I let him carry my bundle, just to give him something to do. Finally I am done, and he shows me back to the foyer, where the AC is blowing at 40 knots and a few other tourists sit on overly ornate chairs, sipping chai and sorting out finances.

“I live here” I say, meaning “don’t bother with the rubbish prices”. Despite the enormous banner to my right which proudly states: “We have taken Ministry advise (sic) and will be moving to fixed price shortly!” and my obvious reluctance to spend a long time going from ridiculous price to fair, he still tries it on. I give him my best withering look, and he laughs, and finally starts giving me fair prices. And they really are so reasonable that I don’t bother hammering them down. I ask him when he expects to be moving to fixed price. Again, he laughs. “No madam, will not happen. The customer no like it.”

Metalwork: Look for Omani daggers and chunky Afghan jewelery or cutlery with semi-precious stones and hand blown glass beads. Maybe, a genie lamp, coffee pot or an incense burner – they will look authentic, but will probably have been made in China. You may find some bronze antiques, although do take the word “antique” to mean anything that simply looks like it could be 100 years old – genuine age is irrelevant. Silver jewelery boxes are a bargain. Gold of course is a given, but that’s not our task for today (not kitsch enough).

Wood: Antique teak doors are very well priced here – the problem is getting them back home, but most places can assist with shipping. There is plenty of smaller stuff though, including picture frames, chests, smaller boxes, chess boards and occasional tables. Look out for inlaid enamel or shell-work.

Glass and Ceramics: You have to take home a pretty candle holder or lantern, and possibly a shisha pipe. Some of the ceramics are beautiful – mostly from Turkey, and you may also find some mosaics. Perfume bottles are beautiful, and you can always get them refilled.
…And where do you buy it?  FIND OUT on The Hedonista!

Move One can assist in shipping your purchases back to your home country.  Please contact dubai@moveoneinc.com for a quote.